40 days of fasting

This post is for all of you who aren't on Facebook. I did a facebook fast starting on December 1, 2008 and it just ended just last Friday. It was a great time of learning and just being with my Creator, my Lover, my All. God really blessed me through this.....here is the journal I kept while I was doing the fast (i know it is long but God was really speaking to me :D):

*Note* this was written over the whole 40 days not just the last day J
1. God has showed me what I am going to do “when I grow up”
· I have a heart for teenage girls and I want to be a counselor for teenage girls and help them through the hardest time of their lives.
2. God has given me a heart for the peoples of the world. Especially those in Zimbabwe that are dying every day from Cholera, a preventable and curable disease, yet over 750 people have died in a matter of just a few days simply because the government is in denial that there is even anything going on.
3. Mediocrity….
Oh! Mediocrity! When are we going to get tired of it? When are we going to step up and make a difference for Christ? We can talk it all day, but when are we going to step up and really show the world there is a difference between us and them, to show them that we have something they want? When are we going to stop believing the lies the world tries to tell us like “Teenagers will be teenagers” Did you know that Mary was 13 or 14 when she found favor with God and had His child, David was 14 or 15 when he found favor with God and was anointed King over Israel. When are we going to step up and start being Christians all the time not just when it is convenient?
COME ON!!! LET’S START A REVOLUTION! LET’S SHOW THE WORLD WE ARE DIFFERENT, THAT WE HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE THEM.
4. My work is not done here.
Some days I just feel like going home. I want to give this up here and head back to Mississippi, back to familiar. But on December 15, we got a package from my aunt with Christmas presents in it. And one of the things in there was the Reach Out CD that Colonial Hills (my home church) made. And I was listening to the songs on there and thinking about Colonial Hills and how worshiping there means so much to me and I can’t wait to get back there and be able to worship with all of my heart, no one looking at me weird or thinking “You crazy American” J, and in my heart language. But then I was listening to God of this City (I have heard the song 1000 times) but today God just spoke something different to my heart when I listened to it. He was saying “Your work in Brasil is not done yet. You may not know why right now, my Beloved, why you are in Brasil or why I have placed you there but your work is not done. GO REACH PORTO ALEGRE FOR ME!
Oh! It will be such a blessing when I do get to go back to familiar but right now my work is here and I am to bloom where I am planted.
It is so hard to bloom where you are planted in a different country that you don’t know that well and really you don’t speak the language, but God has me here in Porto Alegre for this time and for a specific reason that I don’t know yet, and I may never know but I know GOD has a plan for my life.
5. God never said he wants me to be happy in this life.
God’s plan is always perfect and we may not see that at the time but it is perfect. And God never said I would be happy all the time in this life but he did say store up your treasures in heaven. So even though things may not seem perfect I have to make sure I am storing up my treasures in heaven.
6. God has showed me just a little glimpse of why he brought me here.
It is not to save Brasil. He brought me here to show me I don’t need words, sometimes the best thing to do is just shut up. And also that I don’t need people around me all the time. I don’t have to have teenagers around me, all I need is God and when I am sad or lonely or upset or whatever he is the all-sufficient comforter. He is always there to listen when sometimes friends don’t want to listen they just want to judge or condemn or tell you how to fix it. Now I know some of you are saying ‘Didn’t you already know this Kati?’ and the answer is, Yes, I already knew all of these things but putting them into practice I didn’t not do.
7. God has given me a vision to start a ministry.
I am going to start a ministry. Right now that is in the works, but my friend and I are praying about this and are hopefully going to get something started here soon. I am just ready to make a difference. I am tired of the same ol’, same ol’.

I think the song “This Could be Our Day” by Addison Road says a lot and it is my heart completely!
This Could Be our day
What we do here is just the beginning
New life is starting at every ending
We are a part of the story unfolding
This is the weight of the world we
are holding
This could be our day
This could be our day
Clearly it’s time to make a change
Or I could keep sitting and waste
all day
I know that it’s time for me to move
I’ve been given this minute to use
And given this moment to prove that
CHORUS
I was holding back
Now I’ve come undone
I want to touch the world
Heal the broken ones
Ending the cycle has just begun
We’ve been given this minute to use
And given this life to prove
CHORUS
To give ourselves away
For something beautiful
A million miles away
To the one who’s hungry, and thirsty
And needs some hope
To the people that are weary and
broken and left alone
I’m giving myself away
I’m giving myself away

8. Fire
2 verses come to mind when I think of the fire. Hebrews 12:10-11 “Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
And Zechariah 13:9 “…I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ And they will say, ‘The Lord is our God’”
God doesn’t put us through trials to hurt us but to make us more beautiful and holy than before. The Sunday before we left the States, on Monday, we had a service at church about asking God to bring the fire. Asking God to cleanse us, and make us beautiful, to put us through the fire. At the time I had no clue what that sermon was about, but now I have more of a realization than I think I want to have, he he. Asking for the fire is an easy thing to do but you could get yourself into more than you wanted. While you are going through the fire, it is the most painful thing you could ever imagine (emotionally and spiritually wise), but when you come out of it or the fire gets “less hot” it is the most wonderful feeling you could ever imagine. You have more of a realization of how great and wonderful God is. When you come out of the fire you are more beautiful in God’s sight, The King of all kings, Lord of all lords. I mean, I can’t describe the emotion I feel, I was already beautiful in the sight of the Most High King but now I am even more beautiful. How can you describe that feeling of being pure and holy and beautiful in the sight of the Most, High King?
Hebrews says God disciplines so we can share in his holiness. As we go through the fire, that is what he is doing, training us to be more holy. Helping us share in his holiness. What other god or king would help his people share in their holiness or fortune. It also says later on, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. What more could we want?
Our God is an awesome God. We couldn’t ask for a better keeper of our souls.

10. Trust
God has taught me to trust only in Him. My future, my present, my worries, my everything in Him. It is a wonderful feeling to just let everything go and remember that God is in control. There is nothing we can do on our own but we can do everything in Him!

God has blessed my socks off this 40 days of searching Him. I recommend that all of you do a fast of something that you love. Facebook happens to be the thing that I love and for me it is my connection to my ‘outside world’.